Dates in Eugene

Please be on alert for one small chaotic sub, likely causing chaos and mayhem. She is clingy and jealous. Just as protective and possessive of me, as I am of her. She is untrusting of the world and I am her safe anchor. She will probably bite anyone who gets too close. She wants to be protected, but is actually the most dangerous thing in the room. If I’m not around, she might start lighting fires, or try to assassinate the pope, or some other hot girl stuff.

I don’t know where, but I need to find her quickly, or she is going to cause a mess of trouble for everyone. She might even get hurt.

I think it’s unlikely I’ll find her online. I’ll probably find her sleeping in a hollow tree, or digging through my trash.

If you are her, or if you know her, send me a DM or call 1 800 BRAT NOW

(And baby girl, if you’re reading this: don’t worry, I found your emotional support shiv and I’ll keep it safe until I find you.)