Assertive and submissive aren’t opposites to me, they’re balance. Strength and softness, side by side… like hot chocolate and marshmallows (or me sneaking the blanket and your last bit of Ben and Jerrys).
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I’m confidentish, mostly intelligent, and very independent. I don’t hand over my trust or energy lightly. Independence is how I navigate the world; submission is how I feel safe, through clear structure, rules, and predictability. That structure lets me rest (and yes, I’ll test it occasionally, because a little mischief keeps life spicy).
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If you lead with honesty, respect, and grounded presence, create safety not chaos, and can actually communicate effectively, without making me guess, I’ll submit. Not from weakness, but from trust. Submission is a choice, never a default, and definitely not something I hand out like Haribo.
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I respond to clarity, not ambiguity. Purpose, consistency, and connection matter more than ego or power games (save the posturing). In D/s, power starts with me being equal to you, otherwise what am I actually surrendering?
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I won’t shrink to make you feel bigger. But when I feel safe, I’ll soften completely and become your personal cheerleader, maybe with occasional jazz hands.
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I don’t want to be controlled, I want to be led without losing myself. Bonus points if you can flirt back, laugh at my sarcasm, and maybe even keep up with my mischief. If you’re cheeky enough, I might even let you steal the ice cream. Sometimes.
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Pseudo Dom's
Fuckboi's
People who lack awareness or respect re consent
People who lack respect re boundaries/limits
People who are rigid in their thoughts about D/s