So felt like writing. Please be kind. And tell me what you think in a positive way as possible. Lol

Chapter 1

While I sit here waiting, watching, I starting remembering. The way he took control so easily when we first met. Deciding on where we would meet. What was going to happen there, and Weiterlesen… how it was going to happen. The first time we met was in a little resturant, I met him at the door. He was dressed so nnicely compared to the jeans and shirt I wore. I just didn't know what type of resturant we were meting at and dressed casual for the date. Regardless of the way I was dressed we had a wonderful evening. Talking about past relationships, what are goals in life are, our children, and what we want out of a relationship. The night ended nicely enough, he walked me to my car, gave me a hug and sent me on my way. The second date was much more intense. That is when he gave me the so called forms that he wanted filled out and back tonight. We took a long walk and just talked for hours. Got some coffee and talked some more. Figuring out who we each are. I smarted off and became a litle bratty at that time, figuring that is who I am I thought nothing of it until we were at a park bench and he pulled me over his knee and gave me a few swats telling me that it was not acceptable. You would think that would totally have turned me away, but actually alothough embarrasing, turned me on in a way that I never knew possible. He walked me back to my house and told me he would contact me with in the next few days with instructions. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and sent me inside to go to bed. Laughing I told him that I had no bedtime. That he could not make me go to bed, and with that he pulled my hair back so that I was looking at him eye to eye, "Really, I thought I had made it perfectly clear tonight while we were on the bench, what exactely I am". I live on a very busy street and before I knew what was happening he had me bent over the hand railing and was swatting my butt once again. "Now I imagine you understand who has the control, and what I say goes", he hissed at me. "Ok, Ok, I will go to bed, now that you have well.....", I smiled and he kissed my cheek once more, then I headed inside the house.

So I sit here waiting for him to arrive. I am quite shy and have been hurt too many times before. He is very out spoken. Knows what he wants and how it wants it done. And not afraid to lunge in knee deep to get it. He is tall with dark hair, and those eyes. The eyes of a man that has been there before, but of course the first thing I always notice are the eyes. I can read someone by thier eyes. As they say, the eyes are a window to your soul. And for some reason, stern, dark eyes, blue, and dominering, those are the eyes that set my heart racing. Eyes that when you are upset can calm you with just one look, eyes that you can see concern in and of course eyes that can tell you that you have done something wrong without even saying a word.

This is only the third time we are meeting. And still, even though we have chatted on the computer, talked on the phone, and had two other dates I feel insecure and hesitant. He called last night and told me to meet him at the entrance to the mall today, he said he had plans for me this evening but would not tell me what they are. Said it was a surprise. Gave me direct orders to follow on what I should be wearing, and to bring the papers that he gave me filled out. And then hung up without another word. I didnt even have a chance to voice my input about anything.

Those papers, let me tell you. I don't know if they scared me, intrigued me, fasinated me, or what. But I am nervous as hell to hand them over. He had lists of things, some things I had never heard of before in my life. And wanted to know how interested in them I am. Wanted to know if I had done anything like them before. Wanted to know my limits. Hard and soft limits, what the heck are those. It took me nearly four hours to complete three and a half pages of these papers. Looking things up, trying to find out more about each of the things he had listed on them. Trying to find out if I think I would like them. Don't get me wrong some of the things on there oddly enough I have only drempt about, thinking I was sick and perverted. Thinking that they did not exsist, that by me wanting them was wrong. But I did it, filled it out the best I could and stuck it in my purse.

I am not one to follow orders from someone usually, but there is something about him. Some unyielding desire to just obey his command. But of course only half way, I have to make sure he is serious about this. To many times have I been told by another that they are Dominant just to be the one to take control in the relationship. Need to test boundaries at least a little. Although I get the feeling this time is different. This time I have found someone who can surely show me this side to myself.

So I did dress in a short tight black skirt no panties, a bright pink bra, and translutant pink blouse with the three top buttons undone so that my breasts are barely visible. He requested thigh high stockings but I wore full panty hose, he requested high heels yet I wore flats. Or should I say that he ordered those things. So I sit at the entrance waiting for him. He is late, but I was told of consequences if I was, maybe he should have some consequences as well. Haha. Yea that would be something, wouldn't it. But at least it has given me the opportunity to think about what he has told me thus far.

He said he is going to teach me, that I have an underlying gift, a gift of submission deep inside me that wants to come out. He said that he can see it in the way i look at him, the way I talk or text, and the way that I carry myself. I am not too sure about all of that. Like I said, not one to just give into the commands of another without so much as a fight. This is my first time to have a Dominant. Where as in all my past relationships I was the Dominant and none of them really worked out, so maybe I was submissive. I figured that it was worth a try and that maybe just maybe this is what I needed to feel whole within my own skin.

I think I trust this man, this man of many rules and consequences. But we will see later this evening.

So I am realizing through all of this that if you are not skin and bones Dominants do not really look at you. I am probably gonna give up looking as I will never be that skinny. And it is a shame that I have not had luck finding a Dominant that is not an egotistical asshole. All the ones I have Weiterlesen… spoken to are either saying right off the bat to call them Master, are way too young for me, or live too far away. I give up.

hard limits: no kids animals scat golden showers water sports knives humiliation permanent marks and visible marks.

I am a 45 year old female submissive. looking to see if I can find people that are not fake.